I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
