His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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