ugly people sure do ruin things
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
