I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
