Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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