My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
last night I used snow as a chaser
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize