If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm like, not good at living.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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