Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
