Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
