I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am midnight drunk by noon
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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