Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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