I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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