come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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