; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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