Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
