dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Randomize
