I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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