HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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