bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The Olympian is in my bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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