I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
