Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
