i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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