So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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