you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it's like heaven, but drunker
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
