Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
