Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
