and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
