I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize