So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
