True but thats because hes a fetus.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The power of my boobs compel you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
