dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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