Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
