what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
