Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
