I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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