Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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