on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
