i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
