Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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