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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My bed smells like the plague
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