Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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