my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
