Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize