I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
not ubering you a puppy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
