Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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