I want to walk on stilts...naked
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Can I color on your dick again?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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