Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
