Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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