Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Houston, we have a blender
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
