He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
