Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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