she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
