when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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