Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
