Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
