i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I party with great urgency now.
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