she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
