Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
